Awkward Moments by @DAN_DECIBEL

Life is full of awkward situations, run-ins with ex’s, wardrobe malfunctions, roommates walking around holding a bong while you and your parents are eating dinner etc. Having confidence and a quick wit can often defuse these situations, but there are some situations so rare that the human mind just never had a chance to develop a game plan for.
Please fee free to contribute any sort of advice for handling the following scenarios. You’ll be doing me a favor.
1. The “Who Died in Here” room entrance
There is a reason this line is rarely uttered, because it’s always used obliviously to the fact that someone did in fact die.
2. “The beggar and the house keys”
You reach into your pocket to give change to a homeless person and you realize that pocket change and house keys basically feel the same. Now you are waving house keys at a homeless person who was hoping that you were giving them money for food. Did I mention that this always happens when it is freezing outside?
3. “The Vending Machine”
Being stuck behind someone who has their vending machine selection caught in the machine will be the closest that most of us get to being in a failed hostage negotiation. Telling them to contact the machine supplier doesn’t help, they want instant gratification.
4. “Long Flight next to hysterical stranger”
While I’m fairly certain that there are longer flights than Chicago to California. Any flight seems like an eternity when the person you are next to is hysterical about something. As a person with feelings, you always have that itch to want to say something comforting. No one ever does.

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