I’ll admit, I have a hard time following everything during the election season. I don’t trust the television ads that want my pity. I find it hard to take their campaign speeches at face value during their rallies. Even the town hall debates seem too packaged and staged for me to really take them seriously. To make matters worse, getting to the polling booths is an entire headache on its own.
I want an easier way to keep tabs on the candidates. I want to find out what they “really” know. I also want my I-Phone to have a built in omelette ap that makes a personal chef appear in front of me ready to cook 24/7, but that’s probably more of a pipe dream. What if we just had a better platform to pick our political hopefuls? One that still requires the voting American, but one that’s also a little more entertaining. One that would raise voter turnout and put the candidates in a position where they couldn’t lie to the camera, no matter how much coaching they had. I’ve got just the thing!
Top 5 alternative ideas to picking our candidates.
1. Pro wrestling cage match: We all know that the candidates are great at grandstanding and working a crowd. I want to see them take it a step further and grandstand all the way into the squared circle. Drop a cage on top and let them duke it out.
2. Educational decathlon: I want an intelligent candidate, regardless of what party they’re in. Let’s test their mental fortitude with a barrage of educational topics and see who deserves to sit at the head of the oval office.
3. Dance off: If I’ve learned anything from the last decade of television, it’s that Americans love a dance-off. Let’s see what kind of moves the candidates can pull off when it’s their time to shine. Will a little soft shoe be enough to win over the hearts of Americans? Maybe it will take a breakdance to break through the party lines.
4. Iron chef cook-off: It takes precision, timing and a creative palette to be a good chef. Experience is the key to possessing all of these. Let’s let the candidates express their cases through a nationally televised candidate cook off, complete with subtitles.
5. Hot dog eating contest: Nothing screams Americana like a tried-and-true hot dog eating contest. Let’s see who can stuff their face full of pork ends until they pork out all over the floor.
If you’ve got a top 5 list of your own, let me know and post it on our facebook page.