Category Archives: Comedy

5 Questionable Hip-Hop and R&B Songs That We Can’t Help but Sing and Dance To

by Da’Nelle Grier

Singers have a real creative way of sneaking in all types of interesting content into their music. Whether it’s that feel-good melody, the catchy lyrics, or the beat that gets you turnt every time, these artists will have you vibin’ to sad situations and you won’t even care. Here’s a short list of 5 triflin’ songs that bang:

1. “Creep” – TLC

What’s funny about “Creep” is that Left Eye knew it was triflin’ and did not want to be apart of it. She decided not to rap on the project because she didn’t want to offend anyone, and she even threatened to wear black tape over her mouth in the music video.

While Left Eye protested against the song, her bandmate, T-Boz, told Billboard exactly why she and Chilli believed it was necessary: “We thought that was a good relationship to talk about because a lot of people don’t admit that’s how they feel – that their man’s playing on them and they want to be with him so they seek attention elsewhere, but they really want to be with their guy.”

TLC ultimately came to a consensus and recorded “Creep,” an anthem for all women who creep around with other men “on the down low” due to lack of attention from their original boos. One of the funny realities about music like this is that they’re so well-produced, you can forget what the lyrics are actually saying. There I was at 10 years old, jammin’ to a song about infidelity and not even knowing it: “’cause heee doesn’t know what I do, and no attention goes to showww, ohhh.”

“Creep” became their first #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

2. “You’re the One” – SWV

“I know that you’re somebody else’s guy, but these feelings that I have for you I can’t deny…”

First of all, how is MY man the one for YOU? Secondly, I debated on conducting an in-depth lyrical analysis with this one, but figured the lyrics just speak for themselves. “You’re the One” has to be the thirstiest side chick anthem of all-time, and I love it. Don’t let the pretty faces, iconic style, and trendy choreography in this video fool you; the women of SWV are SAVAGES! Of course I don’t condone these SZA-esque lyrics, but could you really blame me for specifically requesting this song at a 90’s throwback party? Exactly.

3. “You Make Me Wanna…” – Usher

This jam is truly a guilty pleasure of mine. Here we have Usher, sexiness personified, telling me that I make him want to leave the one he’s with — awful, right? As a human being, I can’t help but to feel bad for his girlfriend, who probably doesn’t know that her man is falling for someone else and loving her at the same time. But as an Usher fan, I’m incredibly enticed and flattered that Usher, sexiness personified, wants to be with me (also sexiness personified).

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Usher spoke about what inspired him to write this song: “I was with one girl, but I had flown to Los Angeles and I fell in love with this other girl. And what was so odd about it is she started out as a friend, and was encouraging me to keep my relationship afloat. And then I’m like, ‘Well, sh*t, why don’t I be with you?’”

Usher, chile, get it together (but call me first!).

4. “Boyfriend #2” – Pleasure P

“Call me when your man ain’t around. I don’t mind being the dude on the side, ya dig.”

There’s no one on this planet who makes 2nd place sound as wonderful as Pleasure P. Too familiar are we with the narrative of “the other woman,” so it’s nice to be refreshed with a story about “the other man.” Here we have Pleasure P as the self-appointed boyfriend #2 to a woman who he claims isn’t being sexually fulfilled by boyfriend #1. I don’t know who she is or what she’s done to get him so sprung, but I do need to find out!

5. “What Would You Do?” – City High

On a real note, this song is just sad. It’s about a guy who’s at a party, and he notices one of the five or six strippers there is a former classmate of his. He pulls her out of the party to ask why she’s “up in there dancin’ for cash,” and she reveals all of her present hardships in the song’s chorus:

“What would you do if your son was at home
Crying all alone on the bedroom floor, ’cause he’s hungry
And the only way to feed him is ta sleep with a man
For a little bit of money, and his daddy’s gone
Somewhere smokin’ rock now, in and out of lock down
I ain’t gotta job now, so for you this is just a good time
But for me this is what I call life”

Heartbreaking, right? You’d think that no one in their right mind would ever consciously dance to something like this, but I’m here to tell you the harsh reality of it all. As ashamed as I am to say it, this track is a bop. I hate the way I snap to this. I can’t stand the way I sing and dance to this like it’s “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems,” but I almost want to say it’s involuntary. I know, I’m a terrible person, but I truly blame City High for putting depressing lyrics on top of a hard beat. It consistently puts me in a morally awkward predicament and I lose every time.

Here’s a short list of other songs that we can’t help but vibe to, no matter how messed up they are:

 

Keep up with Da’Nelle via her Instagram: @nelliethesupastah, Twitter: @NellieGOnTheMic, and her website: danellelynise.com.

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Big Up’s for Big Mouth

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Netflix’s new show is dirty, raunchy, but most of all hilarious.

We got another binger from Netflix, so clear out your Saturday because Big Mouth is taking you back to that awkward stage we all had growing up. It’s centered around two teens named Nick (Nick Kroll) and Andrew (John Mulaney) dealing with puberty, girls, and everything we remember from middle school.

Big Mouth came from the beautiful mind of Nick Kroll. The first episode is called “Ejaculation” so you can obviously see what your in for. Once you get used to Nick Kroll’s comedy, the show really brings back a lot of the nostalgia and innocence of growing up. It’s hard for kids out there. I remember the crappy stuff like getting bullied and picked on. But I also remember the good stuff like my first true love and my first kiss. They covered all that in just ten episodes. It had me laughing and remembering the good old days of being a kid. Nick and his pals captured so many moments of growing up and I can’t wait for season 2!

Big Mouth was released on September 29, 2017, so if you haven’t checked it out yet add it to the watch list and remember what it’s like growing up.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow kidnaps local comic; offers life advice

Academy award-winning actress and all around model X/Y humanoid Gwyneth Paltrow was in the Windy City this past weekend. However rather than hit the Magnificent Mile for tarte de pomme and posturing as originally planned, the actress instead found herself in a bizarre stand-off/motherly intervention with the local comedy scene after Paltrow kidnapped a local comic, hijacked his Facebook account and began offering life advice.

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Chicago comedian Tyler Jackson just before the abduction occurred.

What began as a chance meeting and friendly handshake between Paltrow and comedian Tyler Jackson, 26, who co-produces the monthly comedy showcase Late Late Breakfast, escalated quickly sources said. Witnesses claimed the abduction took place in a matter of seconds – in plain view of police officers – outside the NFL draft on Michigan Avenue.

Worried friends were shocked to see Jackson pop up on Facebook shortly after. “We thought he was a goner,”said Liz Maupin spouse of Danny Maupin, who together make up the rest of the Late Late Breakfast team. Their relief was short-lived however as the clearly unapologetic and brazen Paltrow began offering her services as a life-coach-food-blogger to Jackson’s social media network.

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“I thought she was taunting us,” said a dumbfounded Liz Maupin, “But she answered all the questions.” Topics ranged from advice about pets, child rearing, and even celebrity dating. Liz and Danny Maupin say they became suspicious when Jackson began randomly quoting Paltrow on social media. “When I saw he was awake at 8:30am, I knew something was up,” Danny Maupin said.

Screen Shot 2015-05-05 at 11.37.38 PMThe following day police had still not been able to locate the actress. Although unable to comment officially, an officer who asked to remain anonymous suggested a possible motive. “Ever since Facebook started requiring real names we’ve seen a ton of celebrities kidnapping normal people to use their profiles.” The officer claimed, “When you name your kid ‘Basket’ or ‘Dreidle’, Facebook thinks you’re making a fake profile so [they’re] doing it for their kids.” We reached out to Facebook for comment but did not receive a response prior to press time. Many believe that Jackson is still in Paltrow’s custody.

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Police have asked that anyone with information contact local authorities.

To stay up to date on all the silliness going on in the Chicago comedy scene, tune in to Backstage Chatter – Wednesdays’s @ 8pm on WCRX 88.1FM 

In the meantime, here are more highlight’s from Tyler Jackson’s day as Gwyneth, SCROLL ON!

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